Category: Kenyan

GNLD, Forever Living and Other Stories

 

GNLD session

It’s many moons ago, and I am fresh in Nairobi (just after I had come into the city in search of education and proper initiation into the world). I have lots of time in my hands and it has not occurred to me that I could use that time to William around and build an empire (Those who did CPA full time know you aren’t in class all the time).… Continue Reading “GNLD, Forever Living and Other Stories”

Celebrating the Death of “those people”

Meru-accident-death

Last weekend was a dark weekend for our village and the surrounding villages. The dark cloud still hangs over us like a giant rock about to crash us. What you saw on TV and read in newspapers and social media actually happened to us. The horrible accident in along Meru-Nkubu Road that killed 8 people affected is directly.… Continue Reading “Celebrating the Death of “those people””

THAT Year After High School

high school jobless kenya
KCSE is over! I had forgotten about KCSE, it’s existence, and importance till this year. My brother, who has had a very difficult high school life and a live-in cousin have both completed KCSE. Welcome to semi-life, Evans and Alex. Now, please stop, and tell your parents to stop, calling me asking if you can come to stay with me for some time.
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A Kenyan Man Goes to Buy Condoms

conndoms

So the girl you have been eyeing for ages has finally accepted a sleepover and you have a feeling that this will be a good night. You had praised your kitchen skills on Whatsapp and she wants to taste your food. You will cook for her. So, you go to the market, or supermarket depending on where you are, and buy cooking stuff you don’t use in your bachelor pad, like carrots and cucumbers, garbage.

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Nairobi Initiation 6: I Have Been Conned, and Mugged.

I am walking home from college. Remember, I am doing CPA at Vision and I live in Plot 10, Kirinyaga Road. Just past Globe Cinema, this guy meekly greets me. He is lost, and wants to know where KCS house is. I tell him I don’t know. He has this heavy Meru accent, and I ask him if he is Meru… He is.

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Nairobi Initiation 5: Plot 10, the Sin City.

Have you ever lived in a remote control house? These are the houses, err, cubicles where a 6 by 3 ft bed fills the room. You can touch all four walls lying on the bed. You can close the door and window, cook, reach the “wardrobe” side of the room, and the TV that you have to hang from the roof because there is nowhere to place it.

Continue Reading “Nairobi Initiation 5: Plot 10, the Sin City.”

Blame these politicians for the terror

Bad things are happening to my country. …very bad things, of serious insecurity types.

Kenya has been known as the island of peace and economic stability in a region under siege….we have been brokering peace around us since independence.
Now,the tide has changed.  We are on the receiving end of the very things we have been consultants against.
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MCashBook: The Ultimate M-Pesa Application.

In a world of hundreds of Thousands of Android applications, I have ‘discovered’ an Application that is actually relevant … that works for me.

M-Pesa is arguably the greatest innovation of our time, a revolution in mobile banking. Any banking has to have a trail, though-bank statements, a transaction history, among other reports.
Continue Reading “MCashBook: The Ultimate M-Pesa Application.”

Pledge to Plant a Tree – Twestival Nairobi 2013.


Warren Buffet once said : Someone is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. 

Let’s face it-The quest for a super skyline is destroying our Greenline. Unless someone does something NOW, the coming generations will be living in a ballast forest-so to speak. Imagine Nairobi without trees….

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WHAT POLITICIANS POSTED ON FACEBOOK AFTER ELECTIONS

As always, Kenya has one of the craziest, most creative lot on Facebook and Twitter.

When they are not telling foreign journalists off, they are cajoling someone for what she said on reality TV, or analyzing politics with abandon.

Immediately after elections, this is what Politicians are ‘alleged’ to have conversed on Facebook,according to  Fans of Crazy Monday.

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CRAZY #KOT AND #MKZ DEBATE ANALYSIS

Dictionary for Dummies:#KOT-Kenyans on Twitter#MKZ-Mukuru Kwa Zuckenburg-Facebook

Having nailed that,The First Presidential Debate went down featuring eight 2013 Presidential candidates.
Well,initially they were 6 until:
Presidential Debatehence






Then the debate went underway and as usual,Kenyans on Social Media assisted by one Dida made it a worldwide trending topic.
I got some of the whiffs:
  1. To save Ole kiyiapi,Sms the word “PENGO” to 2013…….
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Talking Advertisements


Companies can say or do anything just to sound cool and look cool, and gain customers in the process. It’s called promotion and includes seven elements: advertising, personal selling, direct marketing, sales promotion, publicity/public relations, corporate image and exhibitions.

The company chooses the method through which to promote its business depending on the circumstance and the product.

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PREACHING PEACE?CRAP!!

Politicians,activists,church leaders and many more are criss crossing the country,holding forums and huge rallies for peaceful elections-in a bid to encourage a peaceful election in March.

I think its a drive in futility.Its a waste of time and resources.

Now you think I am mad,and I like violence…maybe I am a Hague candidate,but think about it this way:

What causes violence?I’d say stress,perceived and real inequality and discrimination,idleness and Poverty.We all know Kenya has its enough share of these.There is too much of them,in fact.

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NEEDLES FOR DRUG USERS?


There has been news in the past few weeks that there is a plan(if not already being implemented) to provide free needles for drug users..in a bid to prevent HIv/AIDS from sharing needles.

And I dont like the idea-at all!

You see,drug abuse is a personal choice.You go into it knowing exactly what you are doing..and its for yourself.Why should anyone care if their personal choices kill them or not?

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SAKATA BALL:WHY THE ‘F’ IN FKF DOESN’T STAND FOR FOOTBALL

I had just seen my email invite to the Safaricom Sakata Ball Launch…happy and excitedly!Ready to attend the spring of Kenyan youth football.

Making a ground check on the event on the net,I see headlines to the effect that Sakata Ball Season 3 launch has been postphoned…I go back to the email..This is Season 3 alright….back to the news..its today’s date.

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MY BAKE AWARDS NOMINATION:AN ACCOLADE

BAKE awards
So,the other day I am sitting idly in the house when I get a twitter mention by Ghafla Kenya….that I am among the nominees for a BAKE Award..with a link.
At first,I think its a link for me to vote for them…but,oh my!My football blog has been nominated for the Awards!Ok,I don’t remember submitting it,maybe a fan did(God Bless Them)..and.of all my blogs,this is the one blog I pay least attention to..and it has a nomination?
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WHY I AM HAVING MANY CHILDREN!

In explaining interest rates and maturity of bonds,my lecturer gave an example that elicited murmurs from all.He said,money(or lack of it) is not reason enough to have small families.One should have as many children as possible-for the future!

This,with the economic times and the cost of raising a child!

Then he brought up an angle that we don’t time to look at!We inflate the cost of raising children-ourself!Think of it:

Why pay Sh.30000 per term for kindergarten where all the child goes to do is play and sleep!Things they could for free at home!They dont learn anything new there,do they?

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NSE Gets New Board in Restructuring:A DEMUTUALIZATION STEP?

My Finance class has been rife with speculative stories on the prespect of the NSE being demutualized soon.One of the conclusions we reached was that we still,are quite far from that,since the right infrastructure has not been put in place.Well,seems we were wrong.

Barely a day later,this is in the news!

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FOOTBALL MURDERS

There are some things that exceed human stupidity. I call it “Excessive human stupidity” for lack of a single solid term to describe some actions. It’s even worse when these actions are done by men who have gone to school and call themselves educated. Some of these actions include the disgraceful actions from a clique of Gor Mahia fans yesterday after their 0-0 draw with AFC Leopards.

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Sometimes

Sometimes
Sometimes i reach out..
sometimes i hesitate. 
Sometimes i hold on..
sometimes i let go. 
Sometimes i look back..
sometimes i look foward. 
Sometimes i lose my way..
sometimes i find a brand new path. 
Sometimes i falter..
sometimes i stand firm. 
Sometimes i fail..
sometimes i succeed. 
Sometimes i give up..

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More Is Less More or Less

In a country,
A country of
More laws and fewer morals
More people with less power
More religions but less God
More money but less to spend
More clothes but less length
More weaves and less dreads
More guys, less gents
More lovers, less wives
More hugs, less love
More radio, less music
More songs, less music
More cars, less drive
More food but less health
More ‘beef’ and less veg’
More tweeps but less friends
More tweets but less said
More words but less spelled
In such a country,
Our death shall be
More poets…
But fewer poems.
Continue Reading “More Is Less More or Less”

GAY SOCIETY

 “Pastor!I cant sit there,and let you defile the Lord’s alter with such an immoral topic”

 “Yes!I agree with that…this is not the right topic in the House of the Lord”

This is what transpired on Sunday,in my Church,Mamlaka Hill Chapel immediately the Pastor announced the topic for the day.A man came charging to the pulpit,demanding that the pastor ceases from preaching on that topic.”..its unacceptable in the house of the Lord”

The Topic was “The Gay Challenge”

The reaction,thankfully it was a prank,epitomizes the attitude our society approaches the Gay issue with.The ‘socially upright” especially Christians have assumed a no-tolerance stance-and it remains so.The gay are extremely sinful and dont deserve as much as a mention-It hurts the ear!

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Life and Times of a Idle Youth

The phone rings at 8:00 am,very irritating….I look at it with one eye and gauge its importance in my dream.Its dad..he can wait.I hit the silence button and sink deeper into blankets..
It rings again at 8:50…its Mum…..again I turn a blind eye…but her words since my childhood “..a little slumber..(you know the rest,I bet your mother also told you)..” jolt me to smithens.

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Kenya is angry,but we shall overcome!

Kenya is an angry country…intra-nationally!
Everybody is angry at somebody else
Women think all Kenyan men are broke,mean and cheating ‘beasts’ and theey would rather give their love to Naija men and white men who are moneyed and willing to share it.Men,on the other hand say Kenyan women are gold diggers after their pockets and hard-earned cash and will readily run away with more moneyed guys,at the slightest notice.
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To Be Kenyan is to be These


Maziwa ya Nyayo

To be Kenyan is to be these…
I went to a local primary school,
Used the same bag for seven years,
It was pure leather from K.M.C. products.
I drunk K.C.C. milk thanks to a political strategist,
Who I have come to both ridicule and praise.
I didn’t think much of my future,
My dad did much of that for me…
Time he stopped doing that,
Like I’ll stop cowering from wondering,
If the system continues to fail so bad…
Then more of us will die,
From secret assassinations,
When another group emerge harness disorient youth.

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Sailing Away…..

I start with a wobbly step,
Gaining a steady foot
On the sandy beaches
I must reach the boat of hope
Before it sets assail
I can’t loose this will I’ve found……
No, Not now!
No, Not today!
I have to gain a pace
To remain in this race
In my backpack
Are a pack of lessons past learnt
From broken trust and prommises
A load of scarred wounds
But then again……
A ton of determination
brewed from a mix of
Endurance and Patience
My constant reminders
To why I must set foot into the seas
To why I must loose the shores
Of pain and hurt
Of heartbreaks and regrets
Dissapear into the horizons
I know the chances
Of facing strong storms
Encountering vicious sharks
But I will fight
I will survive…
Am not loosing this will I have found
No, not now
No, not today !
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Honouring our Heroes

Indepedence heroes

Let me remind you,I am a true Kenyan Patriot.I love Kenya as it is,and I’ve never wished to be elsewhere.Alfred Mutua may not be the most popular man in Kenya(especially the media),but he came with a phrase I love and refer to very often “NAJIVUNIA KUWA MKENYA”
We have our fair share of circumstances pointing elsewhere,but we still hold onto the fact that we are Kenyans and have very positive reasons why we are proud to be!

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