Laugh. Laugh again. That’s exercise. Because, as always, Gitura stories are fun. If you read this blog, you know my village, Gitura. If you ...
Category Living
RECAP 2020 – it wasn’t a bad year, after all
2020, a year we will all remember, and tell tales about forever. The year when we got locked at home like zero grazed cattle. When normal human ...
Coronavirus Chronicles: Can you feel the symptoms too?
Are you working from home? How is it going for you? My timelines show bored and lonely people. Others are drained by kids and spouses and others ...
30 years
December 23, 1989 is the most important day in my life. It is the day that bore this life, and generation, into existence. It is the day that ...
Real Men’s Conference
The other day, I attended a workshop for Real Men. That’s right, I was browsing the internet and came across an upcoming event for real ...
Random Memories: Job Tarmacking was NOT a Joke
2011. I have just finished CPA, after years of struggle. If you know about CPA, you know it’s a struggle. And I’m not even a natural ...
Amerucan in America
On a certain night last month, I was playing hide and seek with Calla at JKIA to start the longest flight of my flying life. About 26 ...
Miraa Chronicles
I will tell you something we people of Maua don’t like hearing but is true. Miraa is a drug! That’s right and I’m saying it ...
What’s on your Mind?
The other day, I was taking Jeddy to hospital. Then, I also decided to have a small check up – mostly because it’s completely free in ...
Addis Ababa I
There were many reasons why I was looking forward to my hastily prepared trip to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. Let’s assume the beautiful women we ...
Beating the Wife in the Name of the Lord.
Mary (not her real name) is a woman in a complicated situation. And she is so good an actor, you can’t tell what’s going on in her ...
You Quit Accounting to Spend your days on Facebook?
Ladies and Gentlemen, I was an accountant! That’s right, I was… Maybe I still have some accounting knowledge, but most of it ...
Talking to stones
Have you ever looked at stones and wondered if they communicate, if they have senses, if they have life in there? I mean, they can’t just ...
My 2017 Report Card
How time flies. Just the other day, I was recapping 2016… and then just as I blinked, 2017 was gone and we were singing Feliz Navidad (or ...
The Night I Almost Became an Orphan
Last week. Tuesday 14th 2017. My dad had been complaining of a severe headache for a week. And it was getting worse by the day. He had been to ...
Love Story: When an Elderly Lady Truly Loves You
We met in very unconventional circumstances. While people nowadays meet on Social Media, we met on phone. Yes. She called the office line from ...
Nairobi Initiation 7: Fighting the Police
It’s a fine Sunday evening and I’m walking to Plot 10 from seeing my one of my hunnies at UoN Hall 5. We’ve been there since we ...
Celebrating the Death of “those people”
Last weekend was a dark weekend for our village and the surrounding villages. The dark cloud still hangs over us like a giant rock about to crash ...
Oh Shit… I love toilets!
Is there an award for the person who spends the most time in the toilet? I deserve that award – I’ve realized I spend insane amounts ...
An Angel Lives in Kibera
The night of December 31st, 2007, Kibera Deep inside Kibera Slums, an elderly lady sat alone in a huge, old brick, double roomed house. In Kibera ...
My 10 Badass Life Rules
Life is a journey… and to survive this journey, we all need some rules. Personal and universal life rules. Here are mine… that I ...
Random Memories 6: My First Flight – Landing
Where did we leave it last time? Oh, I was getting high high in the sky on my very first flight. So, lets complete the flight and the landing, ...
A Letter to my Unborn Baby
Hello, baby. No matter how old you get, you will always be my baby. Wewe ni toto langu. And I will always be your father. I have seen a lot of ...
Random Memories 5: My First Flight
We had gotten ourselves a business trip to India, Julie and I, for an e-Commerce and Customer Loyalty conference… To travel, you need ...
Be a Man, man!
Be a man and face your troubles. Actually, be a man and carry the burdens of the world. Be a man and sweat your ass out in the mjengo to feed ...
My Bad-ass Valentine’s Day Ideas
Last week, I was live on Radio Jambo, talking about Valentine’s Day and how to spend the least but make the best impression on ...
Bad Debt Chronicles: Musa
Everybody has encountered one, or many. Those people who, giving them a debt, under any circumstance, is like throwing your money into a pit ...
Taking a Cold Shower like a Ninja
Last week, Njaanuary sent me two messages, just a reminder that it exists. One, cooking gas went kaput, without warning as it always does- two ...
Miathene Mono – My First Day in High School
I have seen a few monos in the streets this week. You can tell a mono from a mile away, you can smell even a mono. You can see it in the clothes, ...
Things 2016 Taught Me
I can’t believe 2016 was the same 12 month-long year as every other one, it felt much much shorter. What happened to the good old days when ...
Get a Life! Live like you live for Social Media
We all know that one person who’s always sad about something, or angry at someone. Roll your mind…do you see someone? Sad Facebook ...
I Don’t Respect Women
And for this headline, the world will order for my stoning. The feminists will rise up and castigate me for saying the unthinkable. “How ...
Hey, can we fight?
One day, my girlfriend (now ex) got into a fight with me because I didn’t fight her. Close your mouth… I also get girlfriends, I have ...
If you are Circumcised
“Kama umetahiriwa nitusi tena.” I was in my village last week. And I took a walk around the village one fine evening inspecting ...
Be like my Great Great Grandfather, Switch off WhatsApp!
My great great grandfather’s name was Thamunyari. Don’t beat your head over the name because you have never heard it. It is extinct. He is the ...
Take that selfie!
I saw her every day, apart from Sundays, for two months. She came every morning, washed my utensils (how I hate that thing), washed the floor, ...
Random Memories 4: Slippery Nipples and a Blow Job
There is a common saying among my crew, “We belong to the clan of pigs. We eat anything.” Growing up, I have eaten anything I have ...
Random Memories 3: The Devil Did It
When I told you I was already a sexpert by Class 2, I know you said to yourself “this is one of those hopelessly spoilt brats.” No. I ...
Sad Letter From Sister: Mother Misses You
When is the last time you spoke to your mother? The graceful lady that brought you forth, and brought you up? Does she know what’s ...
Invest in Your Woman!
The past few weeks have been quite fast for me. Long nights, hard work (which I enjoy a lot, by the way), hours facing a screen of sorts and, ...
THAT Year After High School
KCSE is over! I had forgotten about KCSE, it’s existence, and importance till this year. My brother, who has had a very difficult high ...
A Kenyan Man Goes to Buy Condoms
So the girl you have been eyeing for ages has finally accepted a sleepover and you have a feeling that this will be a good night. You had praised ...
Fat or Thin, you are Beautiful!
A girl friend of mine inboxes me on Facebook, “Frank, imagine someone called me fat today”. I ask her, “Who? Njoki ...
Norah: My Flame!
We all have those contacts in the phone that are just that-contacts! Numbers and emails we have no idea where they came from. Or, is it only me? ...
To My Teachers and all Teachers: I Love You!
I am who I am largely because of my teachers. I am even writing this blog, in part, because I don’t want to let my teachers down. They all ...
My Wife and I: I Will be a Perfect Husband
The other day, I I told you I am looking for a wife. I told you, candidly, what I am looking for in my wife. That turned out to be one of the ...
I am Looking for a Wife!
Have you slept hungry, not because you don’t have food in the house, but because cooking sucks, especially when you know you will eat it ...
Baite Inside! Yes, I am a Meru!
A few weeks ago, I was lazily scrolling my Facebook when I saw a beauty. Some of you will call me a fisi, but males are supposed to ...
Fare thee well, Mfa.
Two children, A and B are playing in ashes. You know, the game of smearing ash on each other’s face to make “Kamuithia”. Child ...
Nairobi Initiation 6: I Have Been Conned, and Mugged.
I am walking home from college. Remember, I am doing CPA at Vision and I live in Plot 10, Kirinyaga Road. Just past Globe Cinema, this guy meekly ...