2020, a year we will all remember, and tell tales about forever. The year when we got locked at home like zero grazed cattle. When normal human ...
Category Personal
30 years
December 23, 1989 is the most important day in my life. It is the day that bore this life, and generation, into existence. It is the day that ...
Real Men’s Conference
The other day, I attended a workshop for Real Men. That’s right, I was browsing the internet and came across an upcoming event for real ...
Gitura Chronicles Gitura 3 – Circumcision and Kabaine
Living in towns is depressing. You wake up at the same time in the morning, wear plain boring clothes, go to the same office or class, or job ...
Random Memories: Job Tarmacking was NOT a Joke
2011. I have just finished CPA, after years of struggle. If you know about CPA, you know it’s a struggle. And I’m not even a natural ...
Who Cursed my Farming Career?
I never wanted to be a farmer. I hated farming right from childhood despite my mother being an addicted farmer. Addicted to the level that only ...
GNLD, Forever Living and Other Stories
It’s many moons ago, and I am fresh in Nairobi (just after I had come into the city in search of education and proper initiation into the ...
My 2017 Report Card
How time flies. Just the other day, I was recapping 2016… and then just as I blinked, 2017 was gone and we were singing Feliz Navidad (or ...
The Night I Almost Became an Orphan
Last week. Tuesday 14th 2017. My dad had been complaining of a severe headache for a week. And it was getting worse by the day. He had been to ...
Nairobi Initiation 7: Fighting the Police
It’s a fine Sunday evening and I’m walking to Plot 10 from seeing my one of my hunnies at UoN Hall 5. We’ve been there since we ...
Am I a Writer? Naah!
I am a reader, that I know. And again, you cannot prove if I am a good reader or not. But writer? Bla blah blah. Let’s take it back ...
Random Memories 6: My First Flight – Landing
Where did we leave it last time? Oh, I was getting high high in the sky on my very first flight. So, lets complete the flight and the landing, ...
A Letter to my Unborn Baby
Hello, baby. No matter how old you get, you will always be my baby. Wewe ni toto langu. And I will always be your father. I have seen a lot of ...
Random Memories 5: My First Flight
We had gotten ourselves a business trip to India, Julie and I, for an e-Commerce and Customer Loyalty conference… To travel, you need ...
Being Watch-ed
I got my very first watch a long long time ago. I think I was in Class 4 or 5. It was one of those fake Casios that went for like 25 Shillings ...
Yo! Yo! I am a Rapper.
I am a rapper. At heart, everywhere. And now, it’s time to roga you musically. How do I know that? That I am a super MCee, super lyric ...
When a Thika Prostitute Pins you to the Wall
I hate Thika! The first time I went to Thika was less than two years ago when Mfa passed on. I have since associated Thika with death and I only ...
A Letter to the Women in my Life
Dear My Women, Being the International Women’s Day, I take this opportunity to appreciate you for being in my life. Being the strong ...
Bad Debt Chronicles: Musa
Everybody has encountered one, or many. Those people who, giving them a debt, under any circumstance, is like throwing your money into a pit ...
Miathene Mono – My First Day in High School
I have seen a few monos in the streets this week. You can tell a mono from a mile away, you can smell even a mono. You can see it in the clothes, ...
Things 2016 Taught Me
I can’t believe 2016 was the same 12 month-long year as every other one, it felt much much shorter. What happened to the good old days when ...
Get a Life! Live like you live for Social Media
We all know that one person who’s always sad about something, or angry at someone. Roll your mind…do you see someone? Sad Facebook ...
Chronicles of my Village, Gitura
The other day I was told of a women group on Facebook rivalling Kilimani Mums… it’s called Vuteni Stool. When a woman says, ...
Hey, can we fight?
One day, my girlfriend (now ex) got into a fight with me because I didn’t fight her. Close your mouth… I also get girlfriends, I have ...
Boys and Dogs
It’s Sunday morning. It’s been a week since you had your last bath. Your legs are the real definition of mpararo – complete ...
If you are Circumcised
“Kama umetahiriwa nitusi tena.” I was in my village last week. And I took a walk around the village one fine evening inspecting ...
Be like my Great Great Grandfather, Switch off WhatsApp!
My great great grandfather’s name was Thamunyari. Don’t beat your head over the name because you have never heard it. It is extinct. He is the ...
Take that selfie!
I saw her every day, apart from Sundays, for two months. She came every morning, washed my utensils (how I hate that thing), washed the floor, ...
Random Memories 4: Slippery Nipples and a Blow Job
There is a common saying among my crew, “We belong to the clan of pigs. We eat anything.” Growing up, I have eaten anything I have ...
Random Memories 3: The Devil Did It
When I told you I was already a sexpert by Class 2, I know you said to yourself “this is one of those hopelessly spoilt brats.” No. I ...
Random Memories 2: The Sexpert
I was telling you the other day about my life with my grandparents. With the worms gone and a contract for the supply of mandazi signed with the ...
Random Memories 1: When I was a Soil Eating Beggar
Let’s start from the beginning. To as far as I can remember – when I was a beggar. Literally. I am my parents’ first born.We ...
Invest in Your Woman!
The past few weeks have been quite fast for me. Long nights, hard work (which I enjoy a lot, by the way), hours facing a screen of sorts and, ...
Hello – The Nonsense Cover
Hello Niaje How have you been? You liked 11 photos on my Instagram yesterday, Did you stop because my 12th pic is a #WCW? That made me think ...
Goodbye 2015, that was a Rollercoaster!
How years move! Just the other day, we were in 2014….kufumba na kufumbua, I have a 2016 diary. Is it only me or are years running faster ...
Norah: My Flame!
We all have those contacts in the phone that are just that-contacts! Numbers and emails we have no idea where they came from. Or, is it only me? ...
To My Teachers and all Teachers: I Love You!
I am who I am largely because of my teachers. I am even writing this blog, in part, because I don’t want to let my teachers down. They all ...
My Wife and I: I Will be a Perfect Husband
The other day, I I told you I am looking for a wife. I told you, candidly, what I am looking for in my wife. That turned out to be one of the ...
I am Looking for a Wife!
Have you slept hungry, not because you don’t have food in the house, but because cooking sucks, especially when you know you will eat it ...
Fare thee well, Mfa.
Two children, A and B are playing in ashes. You know, the game of smearing ash on each other’s face to make “Kamuithia”. Child ...
Nairobi Initiation 6: I Have Been Conned, and Mugged.
I am walking home from college. Remember, I am doing CPA at Vision and I live in Plot 10, Kirinyaga Road. Just past Globe Cinema, this guy meekly ...
Nairobi Initiation 5: Plot 10, the Sin City.
Have you ever lived in a remote control house? These are the houses, err, cubicles where a 6 by 3 ft bed fills the room. You can touch all four ...
Nairobi Initiation 4: “We Ate Bread With Sirua!”
If you are reading this,you must have read part 1-3. Thank you for sticking with me. This is a true story and I have evoked nostalgia in some of ...
The Nairobi Initiation 3: “I Swear I Didn’t Do It. Blame the Cat”
So I came to Nairobi… And did all manner of things, including walking all the way to Rongai and meeting my high school sweetheart, Makena. ...
The Nairobi Initiation 2: “I Walked to Rongai!”
I was telling you the other day of some villager’s(aka yours truly) ‘soft’ landing in the largest metropolis in Eastern ...
The Nairobi Initiation 1: “I Will Be Your Host Tonight!”
The year is 2008. It is first of July and I am at the bus office bidding my mum goodbye. I am going to the big city alone for the first time,for ...
50 Life Lessons: Be a Better You!
We should always work to be better people. We have the tools, and they shouldn’t be wasted. How you decide to become a better person is up to ...
365 Ways of Becoming a Millionaire (Without being born one)
Some time ago, I used to attend one of those highly successful evangelical churches in Nairobi. One day, the Pastor gave an example of how he had ...
Book I Read: DELIVERING HAPPINESS: A Path to Profits, Passion, and Purpose
I read books, always. As you read this, I most probably have an open book. But, up to now, I haven’t read a book that has resonated with my ...
Want ‘Free’ Information? Pay me.
I once wrote a rather historical-informative article for a company blog. Now, it required information from either books, or people who had been ...