My 10 Badass Life Rules

Life Rules frankmwenda

Life is a journey… and to survive this journey, we all need some rules. Personal and universal life rules. Here are mine… that I think you should add to your constitution.

Rule Number 1:

Beyond the people who pay me money, no one else knows how much money I make. Never let anyone know how much money you have. No one should know what you earn, how much you have in your accounts… because money breeds jealousy. That’s how you die or get screwed over.

Rule Number 2: Keep your moves to yourself.

When you make choices that you haven’t started acting on, don’t tell the world. Are you considering proposing to someone? Shut up. You want to start a new business. Keep quiet.  Never let ’em know your next move. I have seen business ideas stolen, girls taken away by friends before you get to them, and gossips spreading.

Number 3: Don’t trust anybody (fully).

Hell, don’t even trust yourself. I don’t mean don’t trust anybody, the keyword is fully. Trust is the foundation on which human interaction is built. You have to trust someone, but leave space for doubt. That way, you back will be covered, and if people betray your trust, you will not hurt too much.

Rule Number 4: Drink

Drink, but only to give company. Don’t drink as if you have some championship that you want to win. There is actually nothing good that came out of any drink ever. Drinking is for the common people. Always try to be more than that.

Rule Number 5: Don’t shit where your sleep

Don’t mess your name and relationships with your neighbours. Don’t be the guy/gal mama sukuma points out to other women and says “huyu uwa hatumwelewi… kila siku na kijana/dem different.” Don’t be the village drunkard, nor the guy that other people in your plot will be castigating about your childishly loud music. I know it is your life, but keep your name clean where you live, unless you live at Plot 10 where bad manners is heroic.My grandpa will say… “don’t poop where you sleep.”

Rule Number 6: No Debts!

Want to look mediocre? Keep borrowing loans, and niokolee from your friends and family. You will look, and be mediocre. I am not saying that you can’t borrow… of course, needs arise… just don’t make it mazoea. And if you get a loan from a friend that ou said you would return at some time, by all means, return it! Don’t be like Musa.

Rule Number 7: Don’t Mix Business and Family

You see this in kiosks and butcheries, but it is very important. Keep your family/friendship and business completely separated! Never give business stuff on credit to your family members because they will not pay you even if they say so. Don’t invite friends to eat at your kibanda if the plan is to smile as if this was another hotel. Don’t even employ your brother in your business because you cannot fire him, even when he messes. After all, it’s family… and you don’t want to be excommunicated by the clan.

Number 8: But, Put your family first.

Outside number 7, and this should have been the first… Your family comes before any friendship, before any career, before anything! Everything else in the world can wait. If you have a crisis at home, in-balance, or unresolved problem, go take care of it. The time you spend with family and your pets is more valuable that the money you can make within that time. When you need to pick between money (job and other takataka) and family, pick family. They are the only ones who can ever pick you!

Number 9: And stop comparing yourself to others.

Many lives have been stolen by the unhealthy habit of comparing ourselves to others. Comparing ourselves to others will always rob us of gratitude, joy, and fulfilment. It prevents us from fully living our lives. It calls us to envy other people’s lives and seek theirs rather than ours. It robs us of our most precious possession: life itself. Live your life… forget the rest!

Number 10: Finally, it’s your life!

Finally, don’t give two fucks about what people think. There will always be the haters to anything you do, life is too short to spend time pleasing everyone and trying to make everyone happy, pleasing yourself should come first. Pleasing others can be part of pleasing yourself so that could be great. Your life, your time.

Those are my rules… what are your life rules? Tell me in comments. 🙂

3 Comments My 10 Badass Life Rules

  1. Rich June 14, 2017 at 4:16 pm

    Well put sensei.

  2. Wyclef Muthomi June 14, 2017 at 4:10 pm

    Iyo part ya DRINK haujaclarify…. Tunadrink nini?

    1. Frank Kenyan June 15, 2017 at 8:50 am

      Drink ni supu, fobe, shai… kunywa yote, but don’t exceed


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