I have seen a few monos in the streets this week. You can tell a mono from a mile away, you can smell even a mono. You can see it in the clothes, brand new, with ridiculously sharp iron lines, blindingly shone shoes, crudely knitted names on the sweaters, shirts and sometimes, even pants. And the faces, the faces betray monoism, frightened eyes, wildly chewing jaws, bouncing steps (fake confidence). I see them and I shake my head. If only they knew where they are going.
Reminds me of my mono moment, years ago.
I was a fresh ntane, initiated into a full Meru man after Primary School, right before High School. So I was swollen. I mean, fat (when people are circumcised in Meru, they are secluded and fed. It was said, your only work in seclusion was to eat, lie down and poop, so it was a mother’s prestige when her son came out with closed eyes, I mean, fat cheeks and fat eyebrows).
When I was called to Miathene Boys’ I was both elated and sad. It was my first choice and it was the first time I would be leaving home for a long spell. ( Mother and I had shunned boarding school in Primary). My most hated aunt (everyone has that one hated relative) said Miathene was far and she wouldn’t come for Visiting Days (I was happy she wouldn’t be coming to see me, anyways) but I was scared. Where was this Miathene? Why did I choose a school I had no clue where it was?
But then, I was now a man and wasn’t allowed to tell my parents I was scared. I was gonna be a man and go.
So, we went out, did shopping and got ready, and did the normal monoism rituals. We had the uniform marked, and the dictionary and Atlas and the Bible (given to me by the Church) written in blocky red on the sides and random pages inside. Even my metal box was taken to a paint artist who wrote in a fancy font, FRANKLINE M. KIBUACHA.
I couldn’t say I needed boxers so I waited till the last day and told Kathee, my day father (LOL, that’s the person who takes care of you inside seclusion).
To Dusty Miathene in a Landrover!
A neighbour gave us his Landrover, and people to fill it started queuing for a place. By the leaving day, we were a full Landrover. It was open at the back, so about 10 of us stood back there and started the journey. The son of the village was going to high school and the whole village had come to take him there (It was such a big deal then in Gitura). Those who didn’t go gave me tokens. I was loaded.
When we branched off the main tarmac road at Kianjai, I started praying that this was a shortcut and we would soon join tarmac past Meru town. There was no way I would be going to school in such a dry, dusty place! Yes, it was so dusty we took lesos and covered our heads (even the circumcised me).
And we covered several kilometres of this, with the February sun shining angrily at us for daring disrupt it’s beauty sleep with a trail of dust and the roar of an old Landrover. We soon came to a Market called Miathene and it all dawned on me. I would be spending 4 years in this godforsaken place which was definitely not what I had signed up for. The owner of the Landrover had an aunt in Miathene market, Mrs. Nkumbuku and she had a shop. We passed by her and she committed to be my mother, that I was to lack nothing.I. oils the anything on credit and she would be paid back. If any problem arose at school, she was to be there for me.
Grand Entry
We then drove into the school. Dry, brown playground with grass drying from the hot Tigania sun, old timber and mabati buildings before you came to the Administration Block which had a roundabout that held the flag post. Students came out to stare and point at our vehicle. Our Landrover had made quite an entrance. 🙂
We hopped off. The murram felt punishing under my Landrover-lagged feet. I looked around, there was a long queue of metal boxes snaking to the Admin block, which looked like a classroom. It was after classes, the bigger boys were already milling around to take a look at the monos. Some were too huge, some had beards (imagine beards in high school) and many had these menacing looks – more like predators waiting for their prey to finish up admission into the jungle. I was scared.
Luckily, two bigger boys came forward. Morris (a menacing Form 4 from my village, who I didn’t even know was a student) and Felix (a Form 2 who had spotted my cute cousin Doreen). I heaved a sigh of relief. With these two, no one was going to touch me! And they assured as much – Morris to my parents, and Felix to my cousin (he clearly had a crush on her, which helped).
Touch him again, Mono!
When we were cleared to go to the Dorms, I walked ahead carrying my bucket as Morris and Felix carried my box. Suddenly, a boy came out of the blues and ran a rough hand across my face and announced that he was “removing cobwebs” while trying to snatch the bucket from me. You should have heard the slap Morris gave him!
“You touch him again and I will kill you, MONO!”
He was a Form 2, and to a Form 4, everybody up to Form 3 was a mono! And I was happy to be his mono.
The following few days were so interesting, I should make a movie out of the experience.
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Main Pic: Njugush. Source: Standard
hahahaaa..kumbe ulikua miatha
I was a Miathaian.. 🙂
Thuranira Mk come get your schoolmate Levih Thurah
haha classroom ako wapi..
classroom wenu ako hapa anaitwa Frank Kenyan
Frank Kenyan umechongoa kwetu barrisokei
Back then Miathene was baad. But nowadays I hear it has grown a lot. I was there 8 years ago.
Frank Kenyan was 10yrs ago not 8
i was at Mangu high school yesterday …there were many (confused) monos there..they reminded me of my first day in high school (usiulize jina la shule) when i fought the school captain for passing his rough hands on my face (cobwebs)..that made my mono life smooth because nobody could dare call me mono (not even a form 4)..they were afraid since they knew am a Merian from maua.(machete najua kutumia)
Haha. The poor devils.
Hahaha.. mono wewe… then you got guts en joined drama en music.. lol
Then I became a star! 🙂
Hahaha.. California. you sure you became one ama ni chocha tu.. Hahaha.
Ask the girls of Mikinduri and Kanjalu. Lol
Then Lovie Nomie Kinjah he became a hunter now
Lovie was my Science Congress crush, Nancy.
Hahaha.. I remb those days we would come for drama festival in your school en the only thing we would talk is….. Do you know Kirimi?? He is my neighbour at home say hi to him.. Lol
Ruirii girls
That’s where you were monolised?
,yap….kulala kitanda ya juu
I remember it like it was yesterday
Aiya. You also went to Mitch? 🙂
Hahaha!!am imagining the whole trip to miathene…haya stori iendelee
Haha. It was a weird one. But turned out happy.
Awwww!
🙂 🙂
Sasa hii story inaishaje? Ama hiyo ndio inaitwa suspense
Hiyo ndo inaitwa conclusion. LOL
I was the first to arrive and the first person I met is kuthuka
Hahaha. Nyinyi ndio mlikuwa admission 1 enzi zetu. Kuthuka was my friend. 🙂
That place was a small guatanamo Bay. BTW where is Ambau nowadays?
Kwanza Ghostland… I haven’t seen him in years
Mchui laiboni
Teacher was SWA and Geog Njia boys wakiwa na mwafrika
Ha ha ha Ambau…
N Btw that shop,the girls who attended to us made the sodas taste out of this world.Where is Lucas?
Baana. They rarely smiled, but they made us spend money. Btw, where is Lucas?
I recall how we could ride from home town like kings, only to alight at kianjai to be bundled like sacks in AJ n so forth to miathene not forgetting the dusty murrram road.
Bana.. and when it rained we would have to walk through muddy Uuru with extra soles.
hehe…kuna watu wametoka hizo area wacheni mbaya mbaya
Haha. That was then, nasikia nowadays the area is much better. It is a good memory for them.
Whether we rode from our home towns like “kings” or sufferers through kianjai via a dusty Murram road, miathene high school made us who we are today. We all should be glad that we went through mukembu and his band.
True that.., lakini kama tulitoboa Miatha, we are cut for anywhere.
Miami things…..japollo n kuthuka Alex
Miami was actually a thing!
Miami for “MI-athene MI-kinduri..” But do we say..?
Oh Yes. Mass Love.
Exactly my point.! The reason we hated kanjalu girls was bcoz of u guys
Uuui…
Hehe. Thanks for taking me…
A good piece indeed, you’ve reminded me of those moments. I can see my cousin in the front seat of the classroom.
AAH…Your cousin was a Mitch? Ask him for tales
You never disappoint….. nice read
🙂 Thanks for reading, always
n you still owe me lunch 😉
The rainy Dec days that entailed trekking to kianjai 😁😬
Long cross country to Urru, and samosa za mchele siku za outing.
The supremacy battles against Karebe
Wueh! You have reminded me of those days. I used to be sick at the beginning of every first term to miss Cross Country. That was torture. Na zile samosa bado ziko? Used to have enough oil to recook…