A girl friend of mine inboxes me on Facebook, “Frank, imagine someone called me fat today”.
I ask her, “Who? Njoki Chege?”
She hasn’t replied to me. I think she feels terrible someone called her fat. She actually isn’t big, she has a nice body, but could might have added on just a little weight. She is a modern girl. It is a taboo for modern women to add weight.
But. What happened to the world? When did growing thin and skinny become sexy? When I was growing up in the village, that’s before I came across neo-colonized lifestyle magazines, being big was a sign of prestige. A big woman meant a wealthy husband who could afford food- unless she had elephantiasis, of course. My grandfather would ululate whenever I got visited by a big, healthy girl. And he would commented on such, even in her presence, “Mwenda, umetoa wapi hii ‘ngutu’ nzuri hivi?” (Where did you get such a beautiful young lady?).
On the other hand, being thin showed either of two things. You were either poor and couldn’t afford food, or you were sick. Very sick. Especially with the ‘neck disease‘ of tabia mbaya.
There was even a song to it. Pole Musa. …. Kweli Muusa, uliponioa nilikuuwa na afya nzuri, nilinoona, kama ngoima ya….(never got this part)…. Loosely translated to ‘Moses, when I married you, I was healthy. I was as fat as a ngoima(whatever it is)….. And now with our unhappy marriage, I am thin.
Then this somehow changed. I don’t know when, I don’t know how. My theory is some thin model with anorexia(sorry) decided to turn her body to her advantage, and marketed her condition as an advantage. Wicked opportunist. And then it became a trend…You know women with trends, trickled to Africa, and baam! Our women don’t want to embrace the African beauty any more.
The barbs thrown at big women by other women is disheartening. Have you ever wondered why it is only women who jeer at other women because of their size? Because, we, men, love plus size. It makes us proud. It shows the world there is no drought in our homes, that we are feeding you well, that our homes are happy.
“Bodies should be praised for the amazing feats they accomplish every second of the day, not for how they look in a bikini. So rather than shaming thinness to empower “real” women, can’t we all just get along?”
To the naturally big ladies, be yourself! Don’t let anyone make you feel bad because of your size! Don’t lose your sleep because some thin person thought thought they are the SI unit of beauty and you are all things ugly. Look at yourself in the mirror. Smile. That is beautiful. Your smile is beautiful. Don’t cry your face into gloom. Treat other humans well. That is real beauty. Inner beauty, and that is all that matters. Body size is just that. Size.
The fellow women writing all these things to put you down have esteem issues. True story. And when you see such a post in social media, comment with your photo. That’s the best revenge. Show them you are everything they are not.
You are beautiful
Don’t force yourself to be them. YOU are beautiful, let them also try to be YOU for a change.
When you force yourself to be thin and it’s not your body, it makes you look bad! You grow bags under your eyes, your neck looks funny, your breasts become oversize and overweight because they don’t slim with you, and soon, you bend over permanently. Can’t you see that? Don’t force yourself. You were created wonderfully and amazingly beautiful, don’t struggle to fit into someone else’s body. Don’t fight to become someone else! The master had a plan for you.
I didn’t say the slim women are sick. Okay, just a few. What I mean is, be yourself. You have your body for a reason, and whether you are plus size or minus size, it is your body. Keep it fit. Maintain it. Don’t distort it in any way. Dress it well, flaunt all you can. You are beautiful. They are not. Appreciate yourself, and others. Don’t tell others off because you don’t have their type of body. Shut up- unless you created them.
I am also not saying you get obese! God forbid. Just make sure you keep your BMI on point. Be healthy.