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The Writing of my Place in History

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A Letter to the Women in my Life

letter to my women

Dear My Women,

Being the International Women’s Day, I take this opportunity to appreciate you for being in my life. Being the strong pillars of the universe and the neck of this world. Thanks for being bold and standing with me… and being the epitome of strength. You are the strongest people ever, and I envy you big time!

To these two old women

They will definitely not read this, but I’ll start with Grandmas. Incredible, funny, intelligent, beautiful hot messes. You gals don’t even look your age and the wrinkles on your bodies are the most flawless ever. Your hugs are the warmest, and you’re always trying to feed me which is good since I like to eat. Roast banana, mukinde, mukimo, millet porridge and even your roast maize are the best I have tasted ever and are probably going to be the best I taste in my whole life. Thanks for your daily prayers… I am told you sill mention me by name every day. I will never forget your swollen legs when you traveled all the way to Kakamega to my graduation. You are the women that kept the families intact. Thanks.

My grandmothers on my graduation day

My grandmothers on my graduation day

To the most important woman in my life

My mother, you may not read this… or you just might. You have been stalking me on Facebook so anything is possible. If you do, know this… you are my first love and you will remain the most important, irreplaceable woman in my life. Yes, yiu stand head and shoulders over all women. From you I learned love, I learned patience, I learned silence, I learned strength. Everything I am is down to you. You live inside me looking out while everybody else lives outside looking into me. You took care of me and now is my time to take care of you, so, sit back, relax and enjoy life. Never miss anything as long as I am breathing. I love you,

To the Developing Women

To my sisters, I know you watch every step I take. You may think I am the epitome of control and success so your expectations are huge, but know that I am not a superhuman. I am normal, with challenges and all. I am just older than you and you don’t have to follow my steps – let no one pressure you. It is your life and you should live it however you want – but I hope you will be successful in whatever you do.  I want you to know that things are going to be hard sometimes. You’ll get so overwhelmed that it might get hard to breathe, but I promise if you get up and walk away from whatever it is for a little bit, that when you come back, you can conquer it. I’m always just a phone call away to help. People are going to break your heart and be mean to you. It is going to suck. But it’s a lesson to learn from. It’ll show you how strong you are. Lastly, in as much as I respect your decisions, I will be disappointed if you depend on people to make your ends meet. There will be pressure from friends for the finer things in life that make young women go for the rich, abusing old men. You don’t need a sponsor to be successful in life. Never let any man play between your legs for anything – not even a car and home.

Be Bold women don't need sponsors Kilimall

Yes, be bold and achieve your dreams on yourself.

To my Mushene women… and more

My girl friends. You make the majority of my friends. Yes, most of my friends are women. And it is all for a reason. You are so raw, you say what you feel, okay, you may not say, but you show it – you cry when you are upset, you laugh when you are happy. You tell me when you think someone has lost it, from the girl wearing yellow stockings to the guy who forced his girlfriend who we both know, to procure an abortion. I love your mushene – it is both entertaining and it gives me a lot of content for my writing. You have a friend in me and thanks to all the girl friends who have not used me visivyo in life. And rightly so, you will meet bad friends and great friends. Learn from that. It’ll show you how great your friends are, or aren’t, by who comes to stand by you during tough times. And on the other hand, you’re going to find people who are kind and caring and treat you with the respect you deserve to be treated with. Try not to lose those people, because they’ll help you keep perspective. Even if you friend zoned me…sawa tu.

Last and very importantly…

To my future wife, read this when that time comes. You’ve touched my life so deeply in your own way that you’ve helped me laugh and become my own self. Thank you so much for being a very lovely partner. I love you from the bottom of my heart.I have found that out by being with you. Having you in my life has brought me more happiness than a lifetime could bring. You are not just my partner, you are my lover. Not just my companion, you are my inspiration. You are not just my wife, you are my life. Thanks for everything, you give me wings.I gave you my house, you made it a home. I gave you my heart, you made it your abode. I gave you my soul, you made it your own. Thanks for everything. I will try hard to be a perfect husband to you, and the best father to our kids.

I will stick to you like your shadow. Or, wait! I am your shadow! #HappyValentinesDay

A post shared by 🇫 🇷 🇦 🇳 🇰🇰🇪 (@frankkenyan) on

Not forgetting my exes… thanks for the lessons. 🙂

#BeBoldForChange

Yours Forever,

Frankline

I Don’t Respect Women

Angry women

And for this headline, the world will order for my stoning. The feminists will rise up and castigate me for saying the unthinkable.

“How can you dare not respect women in this age, you archaic gorilla living in pre-colonial Africa?”

“Your mother is a woman.”

“Who says that?”

“These are the type of men who never left their uncivilised villages.”

“You sexist, misogynistic Trump!”

Well, go on, say it! Roast me. Stone me. But I said it.

I have seen too many of these sentiments these last few weeks. It started with Trump, and continued with Miguna Miguna. Whereas I disapprove anyone actually disrespecting human beings on basis of gender, the way people fall over heels shouting from the rooftops any time they feel like a woman has been disadvantaged leaves you scarred.

Women can’t be wrong. You started it, man!

Nowadays, if someone is fighting with a woman, and there is an exchange of words, the jury turns on the man, and immediately rules that the man has attacked all women. And is disrespectful. Figure this out:

Woman: You are a typical man. Stupid fisi.
Man: What?
Woman: Go on. Be a man and get down into it! Say what you have to say. Call me a bitch.
Man: Shut up, bitch!
Crowd: Did you hear that? This disgusting sexist pig called women bitches!

Women beat up man

The world is a happy place. Men should be beaten.

Two politicians (male and female) banter each other. The woman can say whatever she wants. She can call the man all manner of things… you know politicians are all rotten… but the man has to be a gentleman, take it all in. Because one word, one misplaced word and the whole wide world turns against him. Even when she calls him a racist and he calls her a socialite. (ION, I thought socialites were celebrated people).

Why? Why do we feel as if women need this manner of protection? Can’t they fight for themselves? I mean, men and women are equal. That’s what we all want to project. And that’s what I believe, what a man can do, a woman can do, because we all are created equal. Our brains are the same, no?

Granted, I would protect my women, or any woman from physical abuse, because, truth is, we are created differently physically. But intellectually? No.

Which takes me to the point, and I spoke to a great lady who shared the same sentiments with me, Dr. Jude. Why do we feel the need to create special political seats for women? Why are university entry grades for girls lower? Can’t the women slug it out with men? Why are you portraying our women as weak? How will the society respect women if everything is handed to them in the name of affirmative action?

Women don’t need everybody to fight for them! All they need is empowering. Give them a voice and confidence and let them do what they have to do. By themselves. And women, you shouldn’t hang up on the offensive every time things don’t go well for one of your own. She has the strength, the power, the energy to fight it out like men (supposedly) do. The more you exercise mobster feminism, the more you antagonise yourselves.

Arrgh! Annoying Feminists, you make weaken women!

Speaking of feminists, come on! Most of the feminists I meet are just hooligans. They don’t listen to reason, objectivity is not a trait they possess. A woman has been done X and Y, let’s attack the man. Who does he think he is? They won’t go to the bottom of the case, they won’t know the circumstances, they won’t even verify if X and Y happened, they just dive in. That’s very annoying. I saw a conversation on Facebook, the guy had joked that Americans are like Kenyans, they couldn’t vote for a woman. You should have seen the insults.

Feminists are afraid of life. They are afraid of differences of opinion, and especially afraid of men. They are outraged and unduly stressed by much of life itself, and particularly by all but the most feminized men. Look at it… nearly every time the words “chauvinist” and “sexist” are used, they are false and only reinforce the conviction that feminists are weak. Feminism as we know it is a cover of feeling relevant in a competitive world. What it does is project women as weaker, and it definitely makes women weaker. Why fight for myself when I know FIDA will take someone to court for trying to stand up to me?

women against feminism

“I can hold my own beliefs without an army of angry vaginas backing me” – http://womenagainstfeminism.tumblr.com/

This world doesn’t need feminists. Kwanza they are very annoying. Bashing men for anything they do does not make women better. They are people, too, you know.

And back to my main point: I don’t respect women, neither do I disrespect them. I treat them as I should treat other humans. I won’t vote for you just because you are a woman. Neither will I help trend a hashtag just because a woman politician has been insulted. Or take your side just because you are a woman. If you are on the wrong, you are wrong. If you are right you are right. You are not wrong or right because you are female.

But because you are a human being that deserves respect, a voice and life. Not because of your gender. Come on, you can do it yourself. Just believe. Look beyond your gender. Look into your brain… which can achieve anything anyone can achieve, and more.

Don’t expect respect to be handed to you. You have to earn it.

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